Today my husband and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary, and it has me reflecting upon our wedding day, the life we have built together, and what marriage means to us.
Our wedding was included in this lovely Buzzfeed list ❤️ ‘31 Impossibly Romantic Wedding Ideas’ (check out number 9 😉)
It’s such a joy that this year we can celebrate this day with the knowledge that marriage in Australia is no longer exclusive to heterosexual couples, as marriage equality was recently passed into law.
Prior to marriage equality being legislated this month, there was an eight week campaign where the Australian public were part of a ‘voluntary survey’ where we were asked to indicate via a postal vote, whether we feel the law should be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry. This is a matter which, although I do not identify as LGBQTI myself, impacts me as I am part of this society, and am bound by the law, and these laws impact my children, my neighbours, our community. This survey was also stated to be something which would be viewed as being representative of – and apparently for – the good of our Nation. I believe it was unwarranted and unnecessary, as the harm it caused to the LGBQTI community was unnecessary when the law could simply have been changed BUT I digress.
During the survey there was a loud No campaign, and repeatedly we heard on our TVs and in the papers, how the institution of marriage should remain the same ‘as it has always been’. That it is foundational. But marriage has not always been anything, it is an adaptive, evolutionary commitment which is reflective of and responsive to the society and culture in which it exists. It is not exclusive to any one community, or any one religion or belief system. It is found across the globe, throughout varying spaces and places, and throughout the course of history has changed countless times. My husband is 35 years old this year, and during his life time, here in Australia, it was lawful for a man to rape his wife. Let that sink in. Our law protected a rapist if they were married to the person they assualted. That changed before I was born, thankfully, and is just one example of legislative changes which show the way marriage and what is acceptable in our society is not a stagnant thing. We also have divorce as an option, which means we are not bound to be married ‘for life’ in Australia either.
I have been thinking about these things, the questions our children have asked us after seeing the television adverts and campaigning, and how I feel about being married myself. What does it mean to me? To my life?
Ive been trying to find a word that is better than ‘lucky’ or ‘blessed’ to describe how I feel about my own marriage to my incredible husband Chris. Lucky doesn’t seem right – There is an element of chance, or luck, in that we happened to meet and both compliment each other in terms of goals and attitudes. But then there is also a lot of intention which comes with building, and living a life together. Blessed doesn’t seem right either, as I don’t believe my marriage or state of being was bestowed on me by a higher being.
We are not extensions of one another, we exist as individuals, but we choose daily to share and build our home and goals collaboratively. We also find comfort and joy in doing so. Sometimes it is one shared goal, such as purchasing a home, but other times the goal is a personal one to one spouse which the other then adopts by supporting and assisting so it can be achieved. I suppose the best word I have right now is grateful, I am grateful that for years now we have had such a respectful, beautiful, magical relationship. I am completely myself, he is completely himself, and together we are building daily a life and a family which we are proud of. And I’m so grateful for that because domestic happiness, from what I understand, is not something everyone experiences. So I don’t ever want to take our relationship, or the incredible human that my husband is, for granted.
Our wedding, and I suppose some of the ways we do life, are a little ‘offbeat’ so it was lovely when our wedding was featured on one of my favourite wedding sites ‘Offbeat Bride’. If you’d like to read about our wedding, and how we celebrated, you can read our wedding featured in this blog here ❤️ Christian + Amy Joys Cozy Theatre Wedding
Hope your weekend is filled with love!